In Which Lachlan Ceases To Begin

In Korea, babies are considered to be 1 year old when they are born. Whether or not it was intented, the result is that our Korean life begins nearer to the moment of conception than to that of birth. Which makes sense to me as a rational, thinking, slightly oafish and rather sweaty westerner. What doesn't make sense is that in moving to Korea I have entirely forgone my 30th birthday, which I would have celebrated this Sunday in Welby-dong had I stayed at home. The other recent miracle, apart from time travel, is that I can now walk on water:



See?



Here, Marina and Sarah cross the Tancheon the more traditional way. Roughly every 500metres, there are these giant stepping stones that lie across the river. At night they light up and it looks terrific. It's also really nice to see kids playing and jumping across the stones as we walk to school in the mornings, though it also makes me feel embarrassed about my own underprivileged childhood as all I had accompanying me to school were the unwanted and unwashed street urchins on the Welby bus. Here in Bundang, we don't reveal our backgrounds if they are too rootsy or working class. The locals are all too busy trying to be wealthy Europeans or Americans and "whiteness" is highly desireable to some. My yoga teacher told me a very disturbing story about how the parent of one of her students (English language student) is trying to make her 6 year old look like said teacher: to have a S shaped figure and whiter skin.

The people of Bundang are wealthy and they spend their spare time getting new fashions and disposing of old ones (i.e. 3 weeks gone). Or eating in places like this:



Mad for Garlic is the very thinnest edge of what is known as "Konglish" - that amalgam of English words and Korean structure/grammar/sentiment which results in a nonsensical phrase. Plenty of Bundangerites have Konglish on their tshirts. It's fashionable to have English words on your clothing, even if it says you got it from "Massachubatts" or instructs the reader to "go home and jackoff!" Or it could simply be a ripped white tshirt with a picture of a Korean model above the simple phrase "DIARRHEA." Yes, really. There's a clothing shop in Gangnam called "Make Me Fucking Lovely." (There is an almost total disregard for proof reading in modern Korea.)

What I mean is that you might be mad for Garlic, but in Western culture it's more likely to be something more sensual, captivating or desireable that arouses the passion which manifests in insanity (unless you're French of course, and if you're reading this blog, you're probably not, and if you are, Hi Emi and Gregory!). Here is a rather clearer example of Konglish:



The text on the team banner of Seongnam FC here reads "THE ONE! THE REAL! IN THE NAME OF SEONGNAM FC!"

On Wednesday night, after returning from 3 day teacher orientation at Anseong, I went and checked out a K-League match across the river in Tancheon stadium; a local derby between Seongnam and Yongin. And I will be returning this coming Wednesday as Melbourne Victory make their way to my neighbourhood for a good old fashioned ass-whooping by the mighty Seongnam FC Flying Pegasuses (plural?). We have an Australian - Sasa - who looked solid and dependable in the role of sweeper and a couple of other imports, one of which - number 11 - was a sharp right midfielder who made numerous good runs, and another up front who did nothing but fall over and try to milk penalties all match. I think he had an Italian surname...

Here's the three up front:



Left wing: Stephen, the native speaker at Anmal Elementary, just down the road from Imae, who has all of my furniture but is an all round top bloke. Striker: Marina, giving the Asian salute and who also has a big crush on me but hasn't realised it yet. Right wing: Sarah, who also lives in Yatap dong, and who was having quite a bit of trouble finding good vegetarian options here in Korea until Lianne (8 year veteran of Korean campaign) took us to Seohyun the other day, a suburb full of cafes and one or two western grocery shops.

It's the end of week 1 of official duties as a projection technician here in Bundang. And I feel fine.

The highlight of the week was GEPIK camp at Anseong, in the south of Gyeonggi province, where teachers from all over were bussed into teacher training and orientation for 3 days. Things are a little clearer to me now, thanks in large part to 2 lecturers Aaron and Mathew who cut through the boring rhetoric of the Gyeonggi Province of Education and spoke to us as concerned young teachers wanting to know how to do our jobs better. Here are some highlights for me:



The walking trail near our dormitory. The hills aren't very high but they're bloody steep. I went out walking with my room mate Andre and I don't think he was expecting it to be such hard work, coming from Saskatchewan, which is full of farmland. But we made it to the top:







There's a squirrel in the middle of this shot. My first.



Note the FIFA logo on my slippers. I like to think that when Korea co hosted the world cup with Japan, the Brazilian football team stayed at the KSA and used it as their base. Roberto Carlos possibly stayed in my room.



I don't know who these dudes were, but they woke us every morning by assembling on the parade ground, pairing up, facing one another, and shouting at each other for 10 minutes at a time. At first I couldn't believe their stamina for such a futile exercise, before realising I had done this myself last year in Malmo for around 6 hours a day on average...



The good people of GEPIK orientation April 2010 relax with a bit of "western" "food" on day 3.

I have a television with 78 channels and I cannot switch it on without spending the next 3 hours fixed to the spot with my jaw on the floor as I am totally mesmerised by Korean programs, even if I don't understand the language. My favourite game is "I think I know what's happening here" by observing body language, tone of voice, and the number of times someone bows.

I also have a phone now. Number is 010-4952-2216. Write it down.

I also got drunk on soju with my co-teacher on Thursday at a Korean restaurant. I've decided that we make the perfect couple as due to her Korean heritage she can't look at the empty glass of her host without refilling it to reduce her discomfort, and when I see a full glass (which I always do these days thankyou Dr Spencer) I just see a challenge waiting to happen, I feel warmth, see neon lights, no I'll get the bill. That woman is flirting with me and everybody else loves my natural charm as well...

And I drink to it.

Bless.