Interlude

Which didn't happen, of course. In the last few moments of my Korean tour of duty, I re-thought my decision to travel west to Europe by train, and found I didn't have the necessary reserves of energy for it. Only now, 2 weeks into my 3 week break at home, have I understood the importance of that decision. There was a desire to compose some Heroic Travel Narrative, which almost overcame my desire to go on enjoying my sanity as long as I can, and in doing this, to continue enjoying life. I hope I do not forget this valuable lesson. Life in Korea wasn't easy. It might have been - if I'd had the intelligence of a biscuit, or been born with an innate love of repression, for instance. Instead, it was so much wedging oneself into whatever pigeonhole was presented, a brief frantic search to find the like-minded expats (followed by adopting the local habit of wishing foreigners would just bugger off), and much, much boredom. So, after 2 years on the Insular Peninsula, I flew home. It was emotional, though not like it was last August. But I knew it was again, temporary. There is no drive to stay. I have a renewed love of the beauty of the place. I am more aware than ever of what I don't like about it. But so much life is in continuity, in money-making, in dancing the dance, and in making it look as if you know what's happening. I still don't know what I'm here for. A few years ago I thought I did and it was lovely to have something to tell people, but the truth is, I have handed the question of "purpose" back to whatever forces deal with such things. In the meantime, this little fish will be nibbling the bait in Europe, hoping to be hauled onshore, hoping something consumes him.