South Africa Part 1

I shivered at the Airport Limousine bus stop. I knew if I could brave the cold for however long it took for the bus to arrive, every subsequent mode of transport between Yatap and Johannesburg would be wonderfully climate-controlled. The bus itself: toasty warm. The airport: warm enough. The plane to Hong Kong: lovely. Hong Kong airport: also lovely. The HK - Johannesburg flight: I don't care; I'm on holidays. Once I'm there, the hoodie I'm wearing goes straight to the bottom of my backpack as I adopt the local uniform of shorts and a t-shirt. I love holidays, and a part of me believes, along with The Dandy Warhols, that every day should be one. On holidays, tension slackens, cocktails emerge, and clothes come off. I revel in the general slackening of attitudes.

So as winter-coated Koreans loaded up their clubs for a weekend of golfing and their favourite methylated spirit drink I waited at the back, coatless and happy to wait: I was spending 3 weeks in sunny, friendly, interesting South Africa! I would arrive at Incheon with plenty of time to spare before my 8pm flight. The idea was to sit back and use a drink to trigger the creative juices and thus write a few reflections on what I thought was my final major stint here in Korea.

In reality, I was too bloody exhausted through thinking and creativity and apologising for other people's kids' shitty behaviour that I just did the drinking part which solved everything. 3 days into the trip I lost my pen and didn't even bother looking for a new one. I was on holidays, amarula juice in hand!

What did I notice first about South Africa? It's not a service-based economy. Here in Asia, retailers trip over themselves in the rush to make you happy as a consumer. They throw in freebies to keep you coming back. And prices are already low. In Africa, you have to slap someone to stop them from yakking on with their pals about whatever in order to get their attention. They'll then point you in the wrong direction. But that's just Johannesburg International Terminal Information Desk. Random strangers proved to be much more helpful later on in the trip. It's a weird place in that regard. There are so many unemployed people crying out for the jobs of people who spend their time at work taking the piss all day.

What were the second and third things I noticed about South Africa? The one was that it's a very diverse place, culturally speaking. The other was that they have a lot of electric fencing. It's like they are hugely supportive of diversity, as long as said diversity keeps its distance. Swimming in the pool of Vern and Meg's house in north Joburg on the first day, I had the distinct impression that the rhinos and warthogs must live on their street. Why else would their be electric fencing around their property, and everyone elses? Truth is, their set up was comparatively low-key, and by the end of the trip my sensitivity had completely diminished.

Lianne and I set off for the Kruger National Park on a Monday morning. We'd been given the loan of a car from Carrie, a fellow English teacher over here in the eastern veld. Man could it move! When Lianne fell asleep in the passenger seat just outside Lydenburg, I got it up to 168 km/h! Not bad for a Citroen. I then pulled Lianne's bottom lip over her top one.



Vroom!