Q: Do You Ever Have Deja Vu?

A: I don't know but I could check with the kitchen.

Further reflections on this weird simulacrum of life.

For that's what it is.

You send me pictures and I see how unique are the lines of your faces. There are stories within them; ones I can read and remember. I see the depth of colour in the sky behind you and the grass is that kind that is so juicy that it leaves green stains on your legs. Here you've just stepped from the pool and you pause from drying your hair to pose for the camera. You're trying to hold in a smile, eyes of such a striking blue they arrest me; I have seen only the dark browns of East Asia for nearly 2 years now, or my own - monotonous, blank-staring, bloodshot, a mirrorful: what do you want?

It's cooling down. I prefer the colder weather because it's closer to my departing date. We moan (collective - it's not just me) about the lack of beauty in the landscape here. Autumn brings its own charm however. The changing leaves prove that not everything is static. I've woken up thinking of the Bill Murray film "Groundhog Day" more times than I can count. Alarm bells have rung. My technique for getting through is to pretend I am not here. On weeknights I chug a few beers and practice Bach, with all the ornamentations. On weekends I watch movies with friends and am starting to enjoy tales of oppression and vengeance and weaponry. When I feel like it, I go running to the gym and try to make myself sore. Otherwise, my body is just something that processes kimchi and gets in the way of Koreans fighting over a biscuit.

Once I'm gone, I will compile a list of the things that I miss.