One Week Left...

I used to put more effort into this than I do now. It was supposed to be something to remain proud of. Years from now I will be able to look back on these writings and re-experience something of what I was feeling during the years I spent in Korea. Whether or not that be a good thing I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel if I experience anything at all then the memories will be inauthentic by default. Korea has been a gaping emotional void. Then every Saturday morning, the dreams which descend after I've been woken by the first light and put my eye mask into place have me waking in fright hours later: how is my brain still conjuring those images? Feelings which I thought dead and gone resurface and produce images I don't want to think about. By day, so, so tired. At night, sleep no longer restorative.

I'll be home in a week. The next time I write I'll be enjoying the surroundings of the Southern Highlands, New South Wales. There's talk of Dad and I taking a road trip up to Queensland, and a list of things as long as my arm I want to do on my sabbatical. And Lord knows I need it. Burnout hasn't felt quite this immediate before.

Foreign Affairs