Olympus Camera Blues

It's the end of May, 2010, and the big news in Korea is the tragic death of Different Strokes star Gary Coleman. The pint-sized hell-raiser was believed to have been reaching for another implement with which to bludgeon his wife when he fell from the chair he was standing on. All those years ago, Willis may well have been talkin' 'bout occupational health and safety, but Coleman clearly wasn't taking notes. And it's clearly too late now.

Yesterday I found myself seated next to a Korean-American who hated Germans: only in Itaewon! Perhaps I should have done the right thing and probed to find out where this random irrationality came from, maybe encouraged him to see something exceptionally prosaic and twee, yet true, like "not all Germans are the same." But it was hot, and I was tired, and he was a dickhead, so I just told him that I hated them too. Dickhead.

Then, later, while lost in the hills around Itaewon, some Australian girls I ran into pointed the way back to the main strip, where I had a beer with them and talked about vegemite and Steve Waugh. The twins also wouldn't stop banging on about their celiac disease, wedging it into every topic we covered (seriously, this is a skill I'd overlooked until then, and no I didn't know Steve Waugh had multiple dietary intolerances) but it was okay when delivered in that long neglected husky nasal accent that has you sounding like a cross Tom Waits and Jeannie Little. Oh, dahhhling...

I DID NOT WATCH THE BERT NEWTON SHOW ON SICK DAYS!!!!

The plan was to do the tourist icons of Seoul on foot, take the pictures, and later blog about it instead of spending the weekend in the pub. Conveniently (ahem!) - I mean alas - the battery of my camera ran out of juice within half an hour. Woof! So after the major palace complex at Gyeongbokgung, I glimpsed the statue of Admiral Yi Sun-Shin and the Statue of the Hammering Man, ordered a cheap bowl of bibimbap and whopped out the old Lonely Planet, resolving to go searching for a pair of cheap sunglasses in Itaewon, the foreigner's enclave.

Oh yeah, and I could always cool off with an cold imported beer in a pub if the desire took me.



This is the main palace of Geunjeongjeon at Gyeongbokgung. It was the major seat of power during the Joseon dynasty, which stood from 1392 and ended with the Japanese invasion of 1910. It was rebuilt in 1865, after lying in ruins for nearly 300 years after the Japanese occupiers burnt it down. (Relations between Japan and Korea are still sketchy). Further to the north in the palace complex lies the structure Gyeonghoeru, a raised pavilion set on an artificial lake. Kings went boating on this lake, which strikes me as being a bit poxy, mostly because it is smaller than Lake Alexandra in Mittagong. Nonetheless, this pavilion looks remarkable at night. I know. I've seen postcards of it.



I aim to search for a retailer that will sell me another battery for my camera. My intention is to go back one sunny day and take pictures of these landmarks of Seoul. There really is some cool stuff here which is worth recording. The subway during peak hour is also something to behold.

Last weekend I took off with my friends Joelle and West (who I'm going to Thailand with - bring on August!!!) and checked out some of the more famous temples in Seoul. I think Bong-Eun-Sa was the best because of its tranquility amongst the madness of the rest of Seoul. The picture below is of the 3 giant Buddhas at Jog-ye-sa temple, right in the middle of Seoul, near Insadong. It was "Buddha's Birthday" on Friday the 21st so the temples were decked out in their finest.



See you next week! We have a day off for the council elections (known locally as the "erections") on Wednesday. I aim to do something constructive. Like go and take pictures of stuff.

In Search of Somaek

Touch wood, this was the week in which I discovered the formula I will use for my job as an English "instructor" for children in Korea. Work really fell into a good rhythm early on Tuesday and remained that way all week as I suddenly approached the job with more confidence than I'd had in the first few weeks. Most of this change had to do with me accepting the fact that us GEPIK instructors are only part teacher - the other parts being entertainer, facilitator, and ambassador for "the west." At worst, we are handsome projectionists. One of the lecturers at the orientation workshop said he and his teaching mates working in a hagwon (private academy) referred to themselves as "mushrooms": if ever there was an official occasion during which somebody important were to visit, the native teachers were pulled out of the cupboard, dusted off and groomed, and told to stand in a line and bow when the old guy with grey hair walked by. Other than that they weren't wanted much and they certainly weren't there to think or make suggestions on the improvement of the current situation. But that's Korea for you.

Despite all that, I enjoyed my best week in the job yet and my inclination at present is to treat this stop of my journey as a two-year adventure rather than a one-year one. I know I have recently written of my desire to head to Russia, and that certainly hasn't waned, but I also know that Russia ain't going anywhere, and that my current situation is the best it's been for a long while. Good job with terrific staff (despite Seon Ah saying no twice this week), good wage with free housing, low cost of living, good friends, good location, kind people, exciting culture. There's a real pulse to this place which I never detected in Sydney. Oh, and the joy of travelling and partaking in the unfamiliar, or of being so far from home and knowing that though you are fond of it, you don't actually miss it. At least not in the way you have known anxiety in the past.

Tonight I am relaxing after a very successful day shopping and having run the 10 km to Bundang Central Park. I am test driving what is known as somaek - the local alcoholic's concoction of soju (that vodka-like rubbish they drink over here) and maekje (the rubbish that passes for beer over here). The culinary delights of Korea do not extend to its alcohol. There are good beers apparently - somewhere in the countryside I've heard, as in one of those myths that circulates amongst foreigners. For now, unless I want to pay $17 for a six pack of VB (and I don't), I'm stuck with the big 3 Korean brews: Hite (tastes of shite), Cass (tastes of ass), and Max (haven't come up with the rejoiner yet, but it's also shite). It should be said, however, that it is pretty enticing to by a six pack for under $10. Particularly when they put those bloody posters up of the bloody Korean beer girls looking all happy and near naked and who would probably do it with you if only you drank more of their product. One of them looked so enticing that in a drunken haze down in Seohyun last week I ripped one down from a convenience store window and took her home with me!!! The next morning, I woke to find I had stolen a poster of perhaps the least attractive Korean girl ever to work in advertising. After a long walk by the river, a cold shower and lots of tea, she hadn't improved and I filed her in the recycling with the empty tuna cans and milk bottles that I get from school every day. Ass dismissed.



The crew and I went a-footballing again last weekend, this time to watch Korea play against Ecuador in their final home game before they hit the road that leads to South Africa 2010. I feel that this shot was taken right after Lee Chungyong's tremendous effort fighting! through the South Americans' defence. Fighting! is the verb the Koreans have chosen to appropriate most successfully into Konglish when it comes to the realm of international football. Before groups had their picture taken on the summit of Ulsanbawi, they said Fighting! in the way that we would say cheese, or in the way I have trained this lot to say kimchi:



Kimchi is the most characteristic of local side dishes. It's a kind of spicy pickled or fermented cabbage (or radish, or other vegetable) that comes served cold. Foreigners often remark that it smells like piss or vinegar or a sweaty sock or whatever, but I think if you're not used to it you could say that about much of Korea. Personally, when the Keul Chae Bi I ordered today came with only a small serving of kimchi, I was actually disappointed. We have it every day at school for lunch and I'm rather keen on it now. (woof!)

Here's a rundown on everything else in my life so hopefully now you will stop phoning me and asking questions.

Weather: warming up. Switched on the old A/C for the first time today.
Friends: Americans.
Diet: Korean buffet-style lunch! It's like it's your birthday and you're being treated to exotic takeaway every day! Makes me feel fine about having toast and baked beans for dinner.
Love: no. At this rate I'll be eating worms pretty soon. And I feel okay about this.
Soundtrack: Bowie, Death Cab for Cutie, less Tom Petty and Springsteen now. I'm feeling up again.
Regrets: I wish you and I'd had those kids, maybe bought us that home.
Favourite Animal: Saska!!!
Channels: 68
Mood: Patient. As ever. I love you too much to ruin anything with hastiness. Goodnight. X

Seoraksan National Park

Well well well well well well well well well well. If it isn't my old friend the soju hangover. Slips down easily. Feels like World War 3 coming back up. Or so a friend of mine says...
Was it worth it? No. I am officially too old for this shit. I got home by saying the name of my dong to a cab driver. (And before you get carried away there a "dong" is a neighbourhood. So, telling a Korean cabbie the name of your neighbourhood isn't as vague as it sounds, because most Koreans have small dongs. Got him yes!!!)

Moving on.

Some friends and I went to Sokcho between May 6 and 9 as we were fortunate enough to have been granted a holiday by our principals for the Children's Day celebrations. On this occasion, most Korean parents take their little angels to Everland or the cinema or some such while the foreign English teachers of Korea take to the east coast of the peninsula and breathe fresh air for the first time since they arrived. At least Stephen, Marina and Sarah and I did. We found ourselves a brilliant little hostel (a rare thing in Korea) near the centre of town from which to base our explorations into the Seoraksan National Park and Naksan Buddhist temple. Also high on my list of fond memories were:

a) The bike ride around the town lake



b) The final night's feast, in which I felt someone from the table next to us tugging at my sleeve and offering me fermented fish. I ate 5 pieces to prove something (I'm not sure what) before he revealed that Korean men eat this raw and pungent delicacy which tastes of ammonia as it is their local version of Viagra. Which caused no end of laughter at our table - especially considering that earlier to this I had bitten off an entire fish head and eaten it without realising what it was. It should be mentioned however, that every second ingredient here is eaten for its "vitality," and that I don't believe in shamanism anyway because I am a Mojoist. But anyway, it didn't stop the others from making jokes about priapism all night, as I tried to roll over in bed, in vain.



c) Sunset over Seoraksan, from the hostel rooftop:



d) The giant standing Bodhisattva of Naksan temple who looks out over the East Sea (it ain't called the Sea of Japan over here - be careful on that one):



e) Naksan Temple architecture, which is the same in colour scheme to all Buddhist temples across Korea:



But without a doubt the highlight of the trip was in visiting Seoraksan National Park ("Korea's most beautiful") according to many Koreans and foreigners alike. It's the height of Spring now, and there was plenty of water running down from the mountains, on the top of which we could spot the melting snow (it's nice to see somewhere has plenty of water). The plan is to return to Seoraksan in the Autumn and do a bit of comparing and contrasting, as the park becomes incredibly colourful with orange and brown.

Here, yours truly stands between the giant sitting Buddha of Seoraksan, and in the background, the peaks of Ulsan Bawi, which we were to scale later that day, in between stops for beer and bibimbap on the way.:



The untouched landscape of Korea is beautiful. And the entire country looked like this at one point I imagine. These days, Korea is highly urban and dense with people everywhere, apart from areas like this. Admittedly, Koreans do a good job of preserving areas like this and are rightfully proud of their national and provincial parks. One distinction I have picked up between Koreans and "Westerners" is this attitude towards space. They become uncomfortable if they are separated from the group. It's the communal versus individual thing. Many of them would prefer to charge up the mountain in groups of a hundred or more; we'd more likely use a park to get away from work, our neighbours, or just the general pace of life. The main beach of the country, Haeundae, gets so crowded in summertime that you can't see the sand anymore for the mass of humanity on the shore. There's loads of beaches in Korea, it's just that Koreans would prefer to be around each other. I have a friend who has taught here for 8 years now. She travelled back to her parents' town in her native South Africa recently and felt so uncomfortable by the silence and space that she slept with the light on! Korea does this to people, but I plan on leaving before I become a big girls' blouse.



Job done!



We rounded out our trip to Sokcho with a dance off in the foreigner's bar - which I believe I won, though I'm not game to check the photos that Stephen took as evidence. Unfortunately, I was dragged from the floor halfway through Daft Punk's Da Funk and wasn't able to complete my "Saturday Afternoons - A Montage": an artfully combined triage of the Lawnmower, Shopping With Children, and Reading the Herald While Sipping Coffee. But nevermind, there's always next weekend. And before then I've got Korea vs Ecuador at World Cup Stadium tonight (hooray!), open class with Korean parents in attendance on Tuesday (boooo!), and God knows what else, because I''ve abandoned making too many predictions after 5 weeks of life in this chaotic country.

Although I predict that I won't be eating fermented fish anytime soon.

Food and Art Blog

As many of you know, I'm not that much of a discriminating foodie. My approach towards drink - "if it's wet, drink it" - equally goes for my stance on cuisine: "whatever that is, it ain't gonna eat itself." Which is why it's odd to be starting a new entry where I left off last time: with food. Here's the explanation: you can't come to Korea without being struck by the attention the locals give to food and the variety of it as one encounters the specialties and variations from all over the small Korean peninsula. The affordability of Korean food (in Korea) also makes the shift from a western diet to a Korean one much easier on the bank balance; added to this, the local imitations of most western foods are pretty bloody awful at best. Corn on pizza? Sweet iced buns that everyone mistook for cream cheese for breakfast? And the coffee? Don't make me laugh. Granted, coming from Sydney means having been spoilt in the caffeinated domain, but today I paid $4.50 for a Cappuccino bucket whose flavour actually made me wince. The other week I watched a friend pay $6.50 for one, but the big difference was that she enjoyed hers (she's American).

But I digress, and I'm not in a coffee based culture here. If you want a drink in Korea, you have to hold your glass with both hands and turn away from the elder members of the table as you drink it. It's bad manners to refuse a drink and if your boss invites you out for soju then he wants to get to know you better, and you'd better not refuse. Consequently I wait with patience, often remarking to my principal on the hot weather we are having. I’m sure he’d love to hear about growing up in Mittagong / captaining the under 12 cricket team / the year they introduced an entrance fee for the Dahlia Festival. If you can out-drink your boss then you're in for promotion during the year. Well, I reckon I can out-drink the entire province of Gyeonggi-do, but don't tempt me. I can also feel the call of other, more Russian lands and wouldn't want to work as a "handsome projectionist" for too long. (Koreans remain fascinated by appearance in the education sector and in life in general. If you want work spend less time on your resume and more time on photoshopping your appearance for the application package. Nothing like life at home of course...)

Anyway, the picture above is of a dish I occasionally eat. I wandered into the food court across the road in search of an experience, and the lady who worked here was the first one to talk to me, so I tried to order something using the pointing and gesturing method. She knows less English than I know Korean. When I tried to gesture for "how much?" by pretending to leaf through some notes in my wallet, she must have thought I was making a peeling action and therefore set to work on whatever this is. It was pretty good and I have since gone back. The second time, she was thrilled to see me and took my hand and shook it, and taught me how to say "Si Dae Bi," which I believe is what this is called. If I'm right, no more pointing at food and rubbing my stomach.

The major outing of the past week was to the Icheon Ceramics Festival. I took my first bus journey beyond the city and once again marvelled at the cost - $3.90! A middle aged man looked after me and made sure I got off at the right stop. We had formed a bond by comparing tickets by pointing at them and at buses and at each other. 5 minutes of pointing amounted to this - "it seems we are going in the same direction." For every bug-eyed stare I get from Korea, there is someone who is pragmatic and helpful and makes being a foreigner so much easier. But I'll tell the story of when I lost my apartment key another time. Not here. I've got a bus to Sokcho to catch and want to round off this short post with a few pictures of what happened last weekend.



This is an example of the kind of stuff on display at the ceramics festival. I mainly took pictures of the fish-based designs because I think they looked the best. As it always is for me however, the best things are always the quirky and characteristic things of the day. Like when we found an elevator to take us downstairs, which subsequently wouldn't move, because there were 7 of us using it. Even though the restrictions said it would hold 10 people, 4 of us had to get out before the damn thing moved.



Here are the aforementioned:



And a traditional teahouse:



And I have to get my skates on. Take care out there. Remember: if they're good-lookin' - don't believe 'em.